speechless

i don't even know where to start...it's something i felt like i had to do. easily the hardest decision i have EVER done in my entire life. to see the person that means the most to me with tears streaming down her face. like why did i do this? i know and hope that down the road i can be with this girl. she means literally everything to me. i have never been loved or been so in love with someone like this in my entire life. possibly will never feel like that again. right now, i'm speechless, i don't even know what to do with myself. i wasn't happy with myself. am i saying she didn't make me happy? NO. i wasn't happy with myself, and in order to feel happy with her i need to be happy with myself. this girl and i have never been through so much together, something that i loved. i loved going through hard times. bad times. good times. but most of all, i loved falling IN love with her. i still am in love with her. i will be for a VERY long time, very long. what question has been going throw my head all day..."how could i ever do this to someone, to the one person i love, the one person i'm in love with, how?" i'm a horrible person'.  i love you babe.